In my morning scroll through Facebook I was casually reading through some of the groups I belong to and realized something.
Many don’t REALLY want the advice they are asking for.
They simply want someone else to validate them. To give them an easy out.
They want a perfect solution handed to them in a beautiful box, tied with pretty ribbon.
The questions are often worded like this:
I have xxx problem with my (husband/child/employer/friend/coworker/sibling/parent). I am looking for solutions or what you may have done in a similar situation.
However, I don’t want to hear about (therapy/medication/holding people responsible/admitting I play a role in this or anything that is challenging to me or costs any amount of money)
It is unfortunate that many of us are still in a place where we want to blame others for everything and want someone else to solve our problems.
Asking for advice that does not allow for all possibilities is going to keep you stuck.
It is not asking for advice at all.
It is limiting yourself to what you are already comfortable with.
And no growth happens in comfort zones.
Don’t get me wrong, I was there too!
I can still go to the place where it is easier to blame and shame than look at my own behaviour and beliefs and challenge them.
I didn’t grow either.
Remember that “Man’s mind, stretched by a new idea, never goes back to it’s original dimension” - Oliver Wendell Holmes
Please don’t limit yourself to what you already know or what are comfortable with.
If you ask for advice, be prepared to hear it.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
It may just be time for you to grow.